Breaking Up with the Other Woman – Me, Not Him

I finally decided that the Facebook friendship with the other woman was beyond weird. I really did not feel like I was torturing myself, but it did seem to be torturing M, and my therapist felt like it was  VERY UNHEALTHY. I think I hesitated to unfriend her because it gave me access to her photos and history, and since I had so little tangible information and the story of the affair had changed so many times, it gave me a way to check a few details. It was not really that useful, however, and I realized that it was having a detrimental effect on my personality. During this time, I posted a lot of information about our activities – celebrations, trips, etc. While I would have done it anyway, I was actually feeling a little joy that it might hurt her. Once I realized how I was feeling, I followed by therapist’s advice and sent her the following message:

November 3, 2010


I have realized that it is probably not healthy for you and I to be Facebook friends. You are a beautiful woman and seem to have a good heart, so constant reminders of a mistake that you made when my items pop up on your news feed is probably not good for you, and while M and I have processed what happened between you and him, I do not need to see pieces of your life when we do not have a relationship and are not working to develop one. I am very sorry that your recent relationship did not work out, but I have confidence that the right person for you is just around the corner.


I received the following message in return:

November 4, 2010

Hi Devon,You are so sweet and such a good person. I am so glad that you are doing well in your health and that you and M are doing well. Right now in my life Devon, I am just trying to listen to the Lord and see what He has for my life. I am not looking for any relationship at all!!! I am so thankful for God’s love, mercy and forgiveness and that all of my sins are covered by His blood. Thank you for your encouragement. I want to encourage you that you are a very special woman and I know that God uses you mightily!
You take care of yourself.


I think M breathed a sigh of relief, but I had saved everything that provided any information, and eventually went back and looked at it. I really hate it when information does not add up.


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